This week, Grant takes a legitimate life changing move and does what he does best: perverts it.
ASK: I was working 10-12 hours a day 7 days a week, doing the jobs of three, but only getting paid for one. I asked for help and didn’t get it.
I couldn’t sleep, was having chest pains and anxiety attacks. Told them I was pissed and they didn’t do anything about it so fuck em…
I quit my job earlier this month. I’m at peace for the first time in a long time, but…

I’ve got a wife and two kids. What should I do now?
GRANT: Dear Disgruntled Worker,
This seems like it’s become more and more of a problem lately in this country as our economy stays face down in the mud. Take your local adult shop workers for example- not only do they have to run the registers and restock the 36″ double dongs…now they have to mop jizz in the fun booths!

In the past these were always two separate jobs, and do they get paid clerk AND jizz mopper wages? HELL NO! So, the question here is: what can be done to help one deal with this? Let me tell you kind sir, learn the fine art of The Gaffle. In an economy like this, the LAST thing you want to do is quit your job- you make your job work for YOU!
Anyways, so you’ve already fucked yourself and your family- nice job! But- all is not lost…when things turn shitty in this world, remember: you can ALWAYS turn to porn! No one has control of your cock but you and your wife, so use that fact to your advantage and exploit your sexiness for money!
There are all sorts of wonderful people out there who pay top dollar to watch you and your wife do sexual acts that you never thought you’d be doing! Amateur porn is an art form all it’s own. If you’re not an afficionado like myself, well, you both better start watching a hell of alot of it to familiarize yourself with the particulars! Lighting is your friend- even if you have only a shitty web cam or use your point and click camera in video mode, your money shots will still look great if you’ve spent the effort to make sure you have sufficient lighting!

So here ya go, if you’ve already quit your shit job… send the kids to grandma’s (or just put on a really loud movie), lock the bedroom door, and break out the Handy Cam!

(remember two very important things: always shave your balls the day before….and, it stings hella bad when you get it in her eyes, so aim for the forehead!)
Um, great advice, Grant. So what have we learned from Grant this week? That anyone with a little ambition and a little cock can turn a dime as a filmmaker.