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Archive for February 2010

This week, The Geek Savants get back to basics with some good ol' fashioned comics talk. This time the guys talk about their favorite supporting characters.

Plus, the Grant pulls the shower curtain back to reveal one of his favorite (and disturbing) sex acts.

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It's not nearly as gay as it looks...

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ASK: My girlfriend is a nurse, and last weekend a group of her co-workers and I went for drinks. After several shots, my girlfriend and one of her fellow nurses started making out. At first I was a little put off, but I started kissing my girlfriend in a sexy kind of tug of war with the drunk broad, and she kind of got off on it. They both were kind of into it. It really got me to thinking that maybe I could pull an Ugly and have a threesome.

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 I know Super Ugly had had mixed results with his threesome, but I was wondering if you think I should go for it?

 

GRANT:  Pause...

 

*continued after short visit to the bathroom*

 

Sorry, I uh, had to uh, take care of something. Ok, the visuals on that were kinda hot (especially since I replaced you, with me…) Let me start by saying sir, you have a bit of ‘the Gay’ within you, if at ANY time you were put off even a little by that shit. Personally, I consider Super Ugly’s threesome a near perfect success. They did their thing on several different occasions and they are still happily married!

 

As for you and your latent homosexuality…I think you should let me do a test run with the girls and then I’ll get back to you on any possible threesome success you may, or may not have. And remember, females as a species are naturally inclined to have sex with each other…add booze to the equation…and as long as you’re not too gay, a three-way is almost a sure thing!

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In this "official" 3 year anniversary episode, the guys discus recent rumblings in popculture including Kevin Smith's twitter war with Southwest Airlines and the changing of the guard at DC Comics, and wind up unintentionally filling most of the episode with awkward porn talk. It's another instant classic from the podcast that refuses to die.

Outro music by a bunch of nobodys and the ghost of Michael Jackson. Guh.

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'Nuff Said.

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This week, Grant gives you the 4-1-1 on making your ex-hoe into your current homemaker. Read on, Savantites...

ASK: A girl that cheated on me three years ago has come back into my life, and I'm a little wary of getting involved again. The sex was great, but she broke my heart. She was pretty unbalanced back then, but seems to be a lot more mature now. Should I try to rekindle what we had?

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GRANT: Ahhh, there’s nothing quite like “EX-Slut Sex”! I know you may still have some tender, caring feelings for this person…but what you need to do is SQUASH that shit way down, and just dwell on the hurt, heartbreak feeling still burning inside. Use that fire and the (hopefully) three years of honing the fine craft of being an asshole to women (‘cause we all know chicks only fall for assholes…) and really give it to her!

 

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Your newfound assertiveness coupled with your vengeful confidence will make her open all of her holes for you to use as you please!

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Just be mindful to pretty much always treat her like shit, she knows she deserves it… and as long as you do, you too can enjoy a long, happy, healthy relationship!

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Well there you have it. Another bit of wisdom from the only Geek Savant to bounce his junk onto a 50-year old's face. See you next week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This week, the Geek Savants get life changing news as one of their own takes a step further into adulthood, ie Super Ugly's sperm aren't nearly as stoned as he is! The guys try to predict what "Growing Up Ugly" will be like, and jump headlong into their review of Smallville's "Absolute Justice" 2-hour event.

Plus, TGS spotlights the first in a weekly series of LOST focused 2Bit Podcast specials.

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SPOILER ALERT!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ugly lets the cat out of the bag. 

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 Week Two finds Grant playing cupid for a reader's penis. Read on, true believers...

Ask: I've been seeing my current girlfriend for almost six months, and we're happy for the most part. When we first started going out, she joked about how she doesn't "go down," but I just laughed it off. Like I said, it's been six months, and still no BJ. I've gone down on her a bunch, and she never reciprocates. Sure we have sex, but doesn't one good turn deserve another? How do I convince her to do the deed?

 

Grant: Look, first off…no girl “doesn’t go down”- they all do! Some just take a little more coaxing than others. Six months is FAR too long to go without a BJ.  Now, I was once in your situation…the female in question was called the “Chicken Lady” and she didn’t want to go downtown, I simply told her “well, I can’t get it up unless you do!”

 

EDITOR'S NOTE: If your girlfriend looked like a "chicken lady"... could you get it up?

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Needless to say…she went to work like a pro, AND did it the very next time without me having to ask her!

 

Remember, when girls get horny, they’re like cats, they desperately need to rub their pussies on something firm.

 

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 Sometimes all you need to do for your lady to swallow the cack is to swallow your pride, and/or dignity first!

 

Well, there you have it. Advice from a guy whose junk had been used as chicken feed. Join us next week when Grant tackles another heavy issue-- and I'm not talking about his wife!

See you next Friday!

 

 

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In this Super Bowl gameday preshow, TGS brings back previous guests Justin Robischau and Dan Dwonch and welcome ONI Press' Resurrection artist Justin Greenwood to the table.

The guys give their predictions for the big game and get to discussing important topics like the iPad, Death by Robot, Dungeons and Dragons, Prison Rape and their reality show pitch, Nerd Island.

Plus, Topless Robot's 20 Nerd Commandments, and Kirk and Picard give Dave an Eiffel Tower!

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You'll have to hear it to believe it.

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Welcome to the first installment of the Ask Grant column, where Grant Miller, certified nut job and family man will answer your scummiest questions free of charge!

ASK: If you had to seek revenge on someone what would be your "go to" scummy revenge move? Light their car on fire? Or piss in their gas tank?

GRANT: Those two work good when you're like, sixteen. For a more sophisticated and satisfying revenge move, I prefer to "personalize" the revenge if at all possible. If we're talking about a co-worker, you can keep a small container of your pee (preferably aged) nearby until the time is right to pour it in their coffee or other beverage.

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A mouse turd also works great in coffee because it will sink to the bottom only to be discovered after the last sip!

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And remember, you can never download enough gay and/or beastiality porn from their computer while they're at lunch.

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If you're looking to exact revenge on a friend, or better yet ex-friend, the sweetest revenge is sleeping with their sister... double points for the mom. Nothing says "Fuck you" better than someone who has done you wrong waking up to find their mom in the kitchen making you breakfast. Sure, they might be fighting angry, but will avoid conflict for fear of getting a royal beat down in front of their mother, making the revenge (and after sex glow) that much sweeter!

Well, there you have it. Join us next week as Grant trudges along on the road to enlightenment with his overbearing wife on his back and his children nipping at his heels like wild animals. Who knows... maybe Grant will unlock the secrets of the universe...

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This week, The Geek Savants discuss the greatest films of the decade. Okay, maybe not the greatest films of the decade, but their personal favorite movies of the past ten years.

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The guys look back one last time.

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